What I’m Doing Different During Postpartum This Time Around + Products Giving Me Life

there's one decision that has been truly a game changer for me personally -- plus, what you said made your PP experience better!

Hi friends! Lawson is just a few weeks old now, and I finally feel like I have a minute to reflect on these early postpartum days and share what’s been helping me the most. If you’ve been through it before, you know—there’s no “easy” postpartum, but there are ways to make it a little gentler on your body, your mind, and your spirit.

As I mentioned in Lawson’s birth story, I had a vaginal birth this time, after a C-section with Louie in 2021. It felt so incredibly redemptive and I’m so thankful for how it all played out. The recovery hasn’t been without it’s own set of challenges, though, due to the tear I experienced but, comparatively speaking, I can say that my postpartum period has also been night and day different to the first.

Some parts of postpartum are truly just out of your control. We’re all under different circumstances [with support, for example] but I did want to share a few of the intentional choices I’ve made this time around that have, honestly, made a huge difference for me — as well as a list of the postpartum recovery products that have been game changers.

💡 What I’m Doing Differently This Time

Not breastfeeding — and owning that decision.

This was an emotional one for me. Ever since I was pregnant with Louie, I imagined having that beautiful breastfeeding experience you so often see romanticized on Instagram. I didn’t do much research—I just assumed it would come naturally once we figured out latching, and we’d be off into that serene, skin-to-skin bonding journey.

Let’s just say … I still have whiplash. Breastfeeding was incredibly hard for me. Painful, exhausting, and isolating. I still think it’s a beautiful experience — for many — but I now know that doesn’t mean it has to be my way of feeding my baby.

This time, I initially considered giving it another try. We’re not in a pandemic, I have more support this time around, and I felt better equipped mentally. I even bought a pump and all the gear thinking maybe exclusively pumping could be a good middle ground. But the night we got home from the hospital, I broke down. I obviously know how incredible breastmilk is for babies and I wanted that to be what I gave Lawson but, what it did to my mental health the first time around, how much time it takes, as well as the fact that I’m the only one working for our family right now [John is still waiting for his work authorization to come through; don’t even get me started on how unfortunately slow his immigration process has been] … I felt like neither breastfeeding or exclusively pumping was something I had the capacity for — physically and mentally. A part of me really wanted to. I wanted another redemptive experience, to be honest, but another part of me also felt like I was opting for it because I felt like I should.

The truth is … so many women want to breastfeed but can’t for various reasons and I don’t feel like I see that talked about enough openly.

And, actually, when I asked you guys on Instagram ‘what decision did you make with your second baby that made postpartum easier’ and a lot of you said you chose formula from day one.

I have a friend who gave birth a couple of weeks after me and she chose to formula feed from day one. Something she said to me really unlocked and gave language to this ‘should’ feeling I had. She said “the vibe I get from people when I mention formula feeding is that ‘I should at least try’ as if formula feeding is only okay after you’ve at least attempted to breastfeed”. But she, like me, doesn’t have a paid maternity leave of any kind and needs to work in order for her and her husbands’ bills to be covered, especially now that they are saving for daycare and have to pay for higher health insurance premiums with a dependent on their coverage now and they’re both self-employed. I really resonated with that feeling she had as I’ve gotten the same vibe over the years when I would come across certain posts related to the ‘how to feed your baby’ topic. The truth is, the decisions we make as mothers are laced with so much nuance as well as outside pressure that has no business being there … and we need to let what feels right for us lead instead.

As women, this experience we go through - conceiving, growing, delivering and feeding new life - is going to look different for all of us. The last thing we need is to feel shame over decisions we make. As it pertains to feeding, I’ve always believed fed is best so, I made the decision to formula feed Lawson and am choosing to own it. It’s been more than a great decision for us — more like a game changer!

If you're wrestling with this decision, I just want to say: you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You’re allowed to choose what supports your well-being — and that’s more than enough.

And, last but not least, to all my breastfeeding and / or pumping mama’s, I have so much love and respect for you! It’s beautiful what you’re doing to feed your babies. I know it’s hard for many, easy for some - regardless of what it is for you, I am cheering you on and think you’re incredible!

Not forcing myself to stay in the newborn bubble.

One thing I’ve always admired is how deeply other cultures prioritize postpartum recovery. In Chinese, Latin American, and Indian traditions, new mothers are given 30–40 full days of rest—time to heal, bond with their baby, and be cared for by their community. It’s such a beautiful reminder that birth is not the finish line, but the beginning of another major physical and emotional transition.

In today’s world, we’ve sort of reimagined that ancient wisdom into what’s known as the 5-5-5 rule:

Five days in bed, five days on the bed, five days around the bed.

The idea is simple but powerful — encouraging mothers to slow down and allow their bodies to recover gradually, with intention.

I love this concept. So much so that I had plans to implement this after Lawson was born … and I really tried my best, ha! But truthfully, not even a week in, I found myself desperate for vitamin D and a little human interaction. I’m someone who really thrives on connection and fresh air. So, while I held onto the spirit of the 5-5-5 rule, I gave myself permission to step outside of it — literally and figuratively — when I felt it would support my mental health:

• Taking Louie to school — literally a two-minute drive from our house and a short walk into the building from the parking lot.

• Coffee with a friend — she offered to bring me coffee but I asked if I could meet her there and I parked directly in front of the table we’d sit at & she went in and ordered for us.

• Opting to go to our neighbor’s house where Louie and his buddy do a swim lesson while the adults catch up — I wouldn’t recommend a long walk as it increases bleeding [as I found out *face palm*] so we drove the following week, even though they’re like 5 houses down but, just being able to catch up with friends for an hour in a new environment was life-giving.

• Going to my Dad and Karen’s house to hang — simply for a change of scenery for us but also for Louie

Everyone’s going to need different things postpartum. To be honest, my birth experience with Louie threw me for a loop and I struggled to even want family coming over to our house. I just wanted to be alone. So, honor your needs. It’s the most healing thing you can do. But, if you’re like I am this time around … remember that rest doesn’t have to mean total isolation.

Not logging every feed or diaper.

With Louie, I tracked everything — feeds, diapers, wake windows. Well, almost everything. I’m never incredibly consistent with anything but I tracked as much as I could remember to track, ha! It made me feel in control at first, but eventually, I felt like I was living inside an app instead of living in the moment. This time, I’m giving myself space to just be in tune with my baby. It’s been freeing.

Actually sleep when baby sleeps.

I didn’t feel like this advice that you hear all too often was actually possible when I had Louie but, with the decision to not pump and / or breastfeed, I found that I had more time during Lawson’s naps to actually nap myself. I don’t so much use his naps for that now but in the first week or two, it was so helpful!

👯🏼 What did other moms do?

After reviewing what you guys said contributed to your positive postpartum experience, here’s what you said helped:

• Meal prep delivery service ***

• Asking for help and not feeling bad about it ***

• Opted for formula from day one for mental health or to have more help with feeding ***

• “I showered and got dressed every day”

• “Saved throughout pregnancy for” support through a night nurse / doula OR lactation consultant ***

• Taking a high dose Vitamin D supplement — great option if you deliver in the winter

• Allowed myself to entertain the idea of incorporating formula into our feeding routine when my milk supply was low

• Decided to embrace the postpartum season more and tried not to do so many other things

• Got out of the house earlier and didn’t let it intimidate me

• Said ‘no’ to certain visitors that weren’t going to actually help in any way

• Got on an anti-depressant six weeks before delivery to get ahead of the potential dip in my mental health - smart if you know you’ll likely need the help

• Daily walks

• Stayed home and truly allowed myself to savor the newborn bubble — love this! remember, honor your needs. we all need different things!

• Forgot the schedule - just did what works, feels natural and ‘chilled the F out about everything’ lol that one made me laugh but such good advice!

*** = many many entries for this

I received so many messages with the overarching through-line that you were too hard on yourself the first time around. Many of you just wanted to enjoy the second time around without all of the unnecessary pressure you remember placing on yourself with your first — in addition to the many ways in which our society isn’t really set up for us to feel supported in this season. I do think that’s why many of us have such a hard time with that 0 to 1 transition versus the 1 to 2. I know that was the case for me.

One thing I’d recommend, too, that I didn’t see in the responses would be to make a postpartum plan with your partner. My friend Jess, who has an amazing Substack btw that focuses pretty heavily on motherhood, talks about this in one of her posts and I thought it was so smart. It’s basically about how there are so many posts talking about how hard motherhood is but very few posts about how to make it less hard

Okay, now let’s move on to the products that were game-changers for me. This might be more helpful for gals who are about to enter postpartum but the last three are likely helpful even for those who have been in it for a few weeks.

🛁 Products That Made My Recovery So Much Easier

For Afterbirth Contractions
🍼 AfterEase Liquid Tincture
If this isn’t your first baby, those afterbirth contractions can catch you off guard. I added this herbal tincture to water or juice 1–2x a day during the first few days postpartum, usually after pumping. It noticeably eased the cramping. // *Note: I pumped in the hospital then decided to not keep going after we got home*

For Cleaning + Cooling "Down There"
🚿 Frida Mom Peri Bottle
The angled spout is genius. Warm water was key for keeping things clean and comfortable, especially when wiping wasn’t an option.

🌿 Perineal Spray
Provides instant cooling relief without any harsh ingredients. I kept it next to the toilet and used it as a part of every bathroom visit.

🧊 Tucks Cooling Pads
My ride-or-die for perineal healing. Layer these on top of your pad for soothing relief. I rotated them every 15–20 minutes in the first few days.

For Bleeding + Leaks
🩲 Rael Disposable Underwear
So much more supportive than mesh hospital panties — and actually cute enough for your at-home lounge days. I appreciated the extra absorbency and the brand's clean ingredient philosophy.

🍃 Honeypot Postpartum Pads (Cooling Herbs)
I used the pink, yellow, and orange packs depending on time of day and flow. They’re soothing, herbal, and give you that extra comfort when you need it most. Stock up on a couple packs to start and adjust based on your recovery.

For Energy + Replenishment
💧 Owala Mug + IV Hydration Electrolyte Packets
Whether you're breastfeeding or just healing from blood loss, staying hydrated is key. I keep these electrolyte packs in my postpartum cart [filled with snacks and changing items] so that I don’t forget & stay consistent!

🩸 Mary Ruth’s Liquid Iron Supplement
Since I lost quite a bit of blood during delivery, my iron took a hit. This liquid supplement is gentle on the stomach and will help bring my levels back up over time

🐟 Nordic Naturals Omega-3 Fish Oil Supplement
With my history of postpartum depression as well as ADHD, my psychiatrist recommended that I take two of these a day to support mood stability, inflammation, and overall recovery. It’s high quality, easy to digest, and I love that there’s no fishy aftertaste.

For more product recommendations as it pertains to pregnancy, baby and postpartum, head here —

Alright, I think that about does it. Is there anything else you’d like to add? Please, let’s make these posts conversational. Throw your two cents in in the comments. Feel free to share what you did that was helpful … a thing you did, or a product you used! I am certainly not the leading authority in this space. Just sharing as I always do! There are hundreds of you here that have your own experience so feel free to chime in with the hope that it could be helpful or encouraging to another mama!

Thanks for being here, loves! Appreciate you more than you know! xo.