Ask Alyson Haley | April Edition

When will travel services launch? Why use a doula? Will you breastfeed? Any cute non-maternity Spring dresses you're eyeing? It's all in here!

PJ’s are linked HERE » more PJ options I’m loving HERE

Hello, friends! Welcome to the April edition of the Ask Alyson Haley newsletter. I love catching up and connecting with you through these! I feel like I’ve been a bit quiet this month on Instagram and here on Substack. I have truly experienced such a big downturn in my energy over the last few weeks. Ooph! I want to put together one more post for you guys here on the paid tier for this month, though, so weigh in and I’ll try and turn it around quickly:

Okay, let’s get into this months’ questions! There were tons of pregnancy ones .. hoping to have some more style questions come in from you guys next month!

Personal + Pregnancy Questions

When is baby number 2 due + how are you feeling?

Baby is due May 19th. I would be shocked if I made it that far. This baby feels like he could step out at any moment.

But, I’m doing good for the most part! Physically, I had been feeling really great up during my third trimester until last week. The weight gain and the baby starting to descend [thankfully, head down!] has pretty put a lot of pressure and weight on my pelvis and hips.

Sleep hasn’t been too terrible. Louie does get in our bed in the middle of the night a lot. [Just a reminder: When we were in Windsor, Louie slept great in his room and would only come into our room once a week or so. In September, just after we left the UK, we went to Greece and he slept with us. Then, after arriving in Jacksonville, in this new house, he was really scared plus we didn’t have a proper room set up for him for a little while, so he slept with us until about January or so. Slowly, he’s gotten more comfortable with being up there but we are still in transition. Our personal stance is that we never mind him coming and being with us if he’s scared. We encourage him in so many ways to trust himself and remember he is more capable than he thinks but we also realize he’s 4 and we’re his safe place so, as much as I’ve thought about introducing a ‘green light’ system with him … I’m also like ‘this won’t last forever’ and it’s not like we’re up all night with him. He just crawls in and goes right back to sleep. BUT, John did say the other day that he thinks he may actually start sleeping upstairs with him — which isn’t the long term, or most ideal, solution — to help us at least feel good in the lead up, ha.

The only thing that I’ve struggled with that has concerned me is just the wobbles I’ve experienced with my mental health. It makes me really nervous as we progress into postpartum but I’m trying to remind myself I have more support in place this time. I am also trying to remember everything I’ve learned about neuroplasticity and how important it is to not let our thoughts run away from us because they can catch on to a negative loop and then, in turn, create a more depressed state of being. So, I’m really trying to be intentional moving into the Summer with some ‘best practices’ to give myself the best chance at a positive postpartum.

Obviously, I couldn’t be more proud of my body for all its done. It’s truly miraculous and it also comes with its challenges. Worth it in the long run, though, of course, and we are really excited to meet baby!

What are you most excited about?

I’m excited for so many things — in no particular order

+ the birth experience to be over: I’m trying for a VBAC with as few medical interventions as possible and I’m confident in that choice but … I’m scared, too! Ha, so I’m excited to see what the experience leaves me with on the other side and to actually be on the other side of it. Not to mention, I’m thrilled to have a birth doula by my side to keep my eye on the prize.

+ to have him in my arms versus in my belly and to lay my eyes on him: Your body doesn’t really feel like yours again for a little while but it’ll be nice to have a little bit of relief having them outside of you. And, of course, I can’t wait to see what he looks like!! That actually might be what I’m most excited about. I’ve obviously only ever had Louie so I can’t wait to see if they look alike and to just give him so many kisses.

+ to witness John become a Dad all over again: John is such a goofball and you guys see that a lot on IG but he’s also such a softie so, I can’t wait to see him melt when he meets this little one.

+ to have a front row seat to Louie meeting his big brother: I’m already crying even just typing this out. It’s going to be such an emotional experience [one I’ll be trying desperately to keep it together for]

+ to have our own room at the hospital the whole time we are there: Ha, this was not a luxury we had with Louie and I cannot tell you how happy I am that we get to essentially move into a room and be there, just us, until we are discharged. oh! and to have John there the whole time! Because of the pandemic, John had to leave the night Louie was born and it was .. less than ideal.

How is Louie feeling about becoming a big brother?

He says he is excited but, I do think there will be some moments where he has some big feelings around it. It’s a big change. He’s four, which is a long time to have had your parent’s undivided attention [for the most part] but, I love knowing that we are a family who have always made it a point to honor feelings as they come up. We will absolutely make time to listen and talk through it. In the long run, I know he’ll adjust and enjoy having a little buddy he can play with.

Are you doing anything to prep him to be a big brother?

Aside from a lot of open and honest conversations that are age appropriate, we have told him that his brother is so excited to meet him — so much so that he got him a gift! Louie loves gifts, ha, so he is excited about that. And then, we also asked him if he wanted to get a gift for baby brother, to which he said he did. So, we did that the other night at Target.

We also started ready a couple of big brother books with him, as well — THIS one and THIS one. If you have any other good ones, let me know, and if you have any other suggestions … I’m all ears!

Do you plan to breastfeed, pump, both, or neither?