Our Florida Home: Your Questions Answered
Did we buy? Are we renting? How did we have a house to move into before we moved? Would buying even be possible being that John's so new to the U.S.?
For years, my most asked question always revolved around traveling to London.
“We are there for three days. What are the top things to do?”
“What are the safest areas to stay?”
“What are your favorite restaurants in London? We’re only there for two days.”
“I’m going to London next month. What’s on your ‘don’t bother’ list of things to do?’
“Your love for London inspired our trip! Give me your top recs, especially afternoon teas!”
Some of these are direct from DM’s I’ve saved in a folder on my phone, hah.
But, when we moved back to the U.S. in September, those sharply moved to the number 2 spot and was replaced by endless questions about our home.
“So happy you’re back! Your kitchen looks so cute. Did you buy or are you renting?”
“I’m moving back to the U.S. How did you already have a house with furniture to move into?”
“Did you guys buy a house? How did you do that with John being so new to the country. I’m asking because we’re in Amsterdam and my husband is from here so we’re curious what we would be able to do.”
I’ve always been quite an open book and, while I do think I reserve the right to decide what I want to share publicly, I am happy to finally be giving you the answer in a way that allows me to provide this post to someone who might miss the update. Just in case you’re like ‘why can’t she just share it on her IG stories in a Q&A..is it that big of a deal?’ No, the answer isn’t that complicated or a big deal at all, ha. It’s a question I get a lot so I want to answer in a place where I can just share a link versus reshare my actual answer.
Okay, now that I’ve shared a little bit of the psychology behind bloggers let’s get on to all the juicy details.
How did you already have a house to move into when you arrived in the U.S.?
The long and short of it is my Dad bought this house in 2022 when he moved back to Jacksonville after living in Palm Coast. He had been going through some big life transitions and liked it. It’s more space than he needed but, as Dads often do, he could sense that things had started to get quite tough for me and John in the UK and he moreso bought it out of wishful thinking that maybe it could provide a safe space for us to land if we did ever decide to move back Stateside.
Let me tell you a little bit about my Dad…
Many of you love Mitch and know his love for neon and Maine … but, for anyone who is new, let me introduce you to my Dad. He’s a great guy. We had our struggles during my teenage and young adult years but, since my Mom passed away in 2013, we have definitely been on a much smoother road.
Since that time, he has also bought and sold a lot of houses … for various reasons. In terms of his profession, he’s always worked in construction and sales. He has owned his own [wholesale] construction business for years and, aside from running that business, has always been quite masterful at, well, a lot of things. He is insanely good with numbers. He does all of his own bookkeeping and probably could do his own taxes but outsources it just to make sure. But, I’d say his passion is conceptualizing and designing homes. Not every home he buys is a project but he does love to have a project if its not, if that makes sense. He’s also just incredibly business and investment savvy. He keeps an eye on the market and always has a pulse on whether it’s a good time to buy or sell.
As it pertains to the homes he’s bought and sold over the years, he hasn’t necessarily wanted to move as many times as he has but, with the knowledge he gains through his interest in the market … and also being that it’s just been him for awhile … he’s like ‘well, why not?’.
And it’s served him well.
So, that’s my Dad in a nutshell.
So, in 2022, he bought this house and it surprised me a little bit because it was quite a large home for just him. Plus, I knew he ultimately wanted to be at the beach … and this house isn’t at the beach … but I couldn’t deny that the location is really good. It’s super easy to get anywhere in Jacksonville, including his work and the beach so I chalked it up to that. I also just figured ‘oh, he thinks this house will be a good investment for a bit until he finds what he wants at the beach'. But, to be honest, I never question him too much on these things because of his track record so I was like ‘great, happy for you, Dad!’.
Honestly, I was just happy he was back in Jacksonville, which is about 45 minutes north of Palm Coast if you’re not from the area.
Then, not long after my Dad moved into the house, he met my now stepmom, Karen, who is salt of the earth … kindest, sweetest human on the planet. They came to visit a few months later in October of 2022 and Karen got to know me real quick — bless her — as my Dad is never shy when it comes to hard conversations. We talked about how my dreams just hadn’t quite flourished in the way I had hoped and how I had this feeling I was meant to build or do something in the UK but the fog of postpartum, motherhood, ADHD and the chaos of moving so many times really made getting clear on what that was really difficult. I feel like, in that way, it was hard for him to relate. He’s always been very clear on what he wants to do in business and it’s always been one thing so, I think me being aware of my intuition and trying to be patient for that clarity to come through is something that is hard for him to relate to, hah. Of course, he was supportive of all of the things I was exploring as I sought to figure things out but, my Dad is the most pragmatic, logical thinker there ever could be. We could not be more opposite in that way [I’m more of a dreamer, led by my feelings, etc] although I think we’re both risk takers in our own way, which I love. We both have that entrepreneurial spirit in our own way.
But, he was worried.
I think he was looking for me to share some clarity around where I wanted my business to go, see me putting the scaffolding and business structure in place for him to get a sense that I’d have some financial security to lean on at least in the near future but … there wasn’t any of that at that point, hah. Sadly. So, I could understand where his worry came from.
Dad’s want to know their kids are alright. And he knew I had savings. And he knew John was in a stable and secure financial and professional position. He also really believed I’d figure it out AND … I think he also selfishly wanted us closer, ha.
He reminded me that while going after your dreams is always worth it, regardless of how it turns out, there’s absolutely no shame in coming home for a reset if you need to. So, he put that on my radar that he’d love to be able to be a more present presence in our lives, in Louie’s life, especially as he is getting older and his days as a business owner were likely dwindling.
That’s when we started to have conversations around what our future might look like. As much as we love the UK, as much as that’s where we want our future, we started to think about how it might be helpful while I figure out where I want to go with my business to live somewhere that would provide our family, particularly me, more ease. John lived in Australia for three years in his 20’s and absolutely loved it. He was really open to what a chapter in the U.S. could do for me mentally, as he knew I had been really struggling with feeling so lost, and professionally … as well as what it could do for us as a family.
Living in the UK, our closest family was between an hour to four hours away. We saw them as much as we could and always loved our time with them but thought it could be helpful to have family a little closer for awhile, especially while Louie and his sibling(s) are little and extra hands are extremely appreciated. So, while, I was very resistant to the idea of coming back to Florida, I was also very aware of how many things there were to be grateful for in this situation.
So, we decided to at least just start the application process. We didn’t need to commit to it. We could change our mind being that there were a few different phases of the process, which I liked but, because it was such a long process, we figured it wouldn’t hurt to just get it started.
So, we started the process for John’s green card in early 2023 and got word back in January 2024 that we were on to the next phase … the interview … and that’s when we decided that we would go ahead and make this move. This gave us nine months, until the end of our lease in Windsor at the end of September, and honestly I was so grateful to have had a lot of time to really settle into it, which I think I really needed mentally. Plus, it’s a lot to plan an international move so, yeah, there was lots to be grateful for when it came to the timing of it all.
Let me take you back to 2023 for a second —
In 2023, during one of my visits to Florida and in the midst of waiting to hear back from the State Department on John’s application, my Dad told me that he and Karen had bought a house together at the beach.
Both of them are huge beach people, most mornings they walk the beach for miles. So, I was really excited for them.
He then proceeded to ask if I would be interested in buying the house he was in. I laughed because, like I mentioned above, I knew was a little strange that he had bought this house, ha, and now I knew why!
I was like ‘wait, did you buy that house because you thought we might move back?’ He was like ‘hey, a Father’s intuition is always right .. I think they say it’s the mother and it probably is that, too, but a Father has a good intuition, as well’. Of course, that got an eye roll from me, hah.
So, yeah, that’s basically the answer to the question as to how we had the house when we moved.
We had John’s interview at the U.S. Embassy on May 8th [the same day I got Fish in 2010], 2024 and got word the same day that he got the initial green light that his application had been accepted.
My Dad and Karen moved out of the house over the Summer. They furnished it with furniture from both Karen’s old house and my Dad’s home buying adventures. And, once we have all of John’s visa documents all finalized [he’s legally allowed to be here but we have to wait for him to be a permanent resident which takes awhile to process] … we will then purchase the house from my Dad.
So, for now, we’re technically in a renting to buy situation, ha.
While Jacksonville might not be where I want to be long-term, there are so many things about this move that I am incredibly grateful for. It’s not lost on me in the slightest how fortunate I am to be in a situation like this. If we do move back to the UK in the future - which is our hope and intention - this will not be our situation. Whenever that time comes, we will definitely face a lot of challenges as it pertains to finding and securing a place to live in the UK.
I realize I am sitting in a place of privilege and it feels super vulnerable to share all of this so publicly because I know everyone’s reading [and judging] from their own particular situation and circumstances.
But, ya know what? I’ve seen the lowest of lows [mentally, emotionally, and professionally] over the last five years … in a place that I love so much. There was so much hard, especially being that I had such high hopes for it. I can’t really begin to tell you how devastating, and even embarrassing it has felt to admit defeat. I was so excited to inspire people to go out there and be bold in creating a life you love. But, sometimes, life humbles you. It gives you challenges and hardships you weren’t expecting … but not for nothing. While I feel like I’ve lost in a lot of ways, I know I’ve gained in others.
And, for awhile, if I can grab on to a generous life preserver until I can blow wind in my sails again … I will. Just like I hope you would, too, if you had the chance and really needed it.
We all deserve it from time to time.
P.S. Because I know he’ll read this … Thanks, Dad. While it might not always be want they want … like you, I hope to always be able to give my kids what they need no matter how big they get. You’re the best.
Alright, well .. I think that rounds out this life update and heart talk! I hope you Nosey Parker’s have gotten your fill for now ;) I say that with all the love in my heart … I’m a NP, too. I still lots to update you on! To get all the updates, be sure to move over to the paid subscriber tier. While I love keeping you guys in the loop, sometimes these posts take me ages to write and the support really affords me the ability to invest the time I love into writing. This tier also gets to enjoy my more in-depth travel posts — I owe you all so many that I just haven’t been able to justify writing so, I’m looking forward to getting some out to you this year.
Love you guys! Have a great day! xo.
Not me tearing up at the last little bit specifically for your dad! Dads (and moms) definitely have that intuition. When I went through my recent (lol November 2022) breakup I was certain I didn’t want to move home, but financially it made sense. Moving back at 37 was not what I saw for myself but it was what I needed. I’m sure Mitch is thrilled to have you closer to home as your family continues to grow!!
I will never understand people who judge others for their circumstances. I can understand being jealous, but judging based on how a person chooses/gets to live their life is baffling to me. And AH! Always love a good Mitch story! I know not everyone has dads that are the best but really, dads are the best. Thanks for the update ♥️